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Dan Carey

When I Tried It

 

Veins lined up in formation through the soil of my flesh

the first time I tried it, knew it might happen

when my roommate told me he had something to show me…

       I walked in weakly 

begged the door open with a nudge, fending off a conscience 

buried somewhere between the memories surrounding who I was

      becoming.  

He was flicking the tip of a needle when I walked in, 

making sure no passageway was blocked.  He was waiting for me, 

waiting to escape

to rock bottom in tandem, just one more time, as if he knew 

how on the verge I was, so close…said yes before I could say yes

       and the belt was wrapped 

with a hint of masochism, caressed my bicep like a blood pressure

       arm cuff.  

As it tightened, I hadn’t asked any questions, yet, on how to do it

       myself, 

to draw the contents into syringe, up from a spoon

filled with cotton, to squeeze out extra water, keep bubbles

away from the bloodstream.  I rode that brown juice into mainline,

like a burning freight train.  The cream ran out the point, 

invaded and began to flow quickly through me, 

thick as milkshake or cement 

dispersing the spew 

from the truck onto streets 

seeped to the edges 

produced the effect 

correct it was 

working

The Open-Mic

 

Drive along side streets,

park near projects, walk over

to a friend of a friend’s place.  People gathered

in a backyard, at the end of the week.  Tall weeds 

intertwine with fences, and everybody mingles – 

art, the struggle for money, 

the crowd pairs off in mutual suffering.

We can agree for a while today,

as we meet at the poetry show, where my roommate reads

new poems, and all the participants

present their unique styles, 

while in the same yard, a construction crew

absurdly clangs 

music out of the house in the background, so we all get closer.

To love and listen to poems that grown on us 

like mossy answers, swallow us whole. 

And everyone gets down to these comic and tragic poets. 

        One drops 

his pages to the grass after each final line, 

“speaking of disillusion” 

that’s the punk messiah who put together 

this meeting of minds.  Fresh faces at the right time

in another pocket of the city.

Actéon

 

The morning rowers row their way through morning

while I catch some sun, taint the air with my smoking

through another pack of Marlboros.  Each drag

pulls down the paper edges, while the rowers boast

their stamina, pulling oars around and sliding

their shoulders, roll with the ease of water, they glide

like hands on the lutes from early music that plays

in my ears – the baroque Marc-Antoine Charpentier.

 

Actéon, a French take on the Greek myth Actaeon,

who was turned into a deer, hounded by his own dogs,

and torn apart.  It was his punishment for watching 

Artemis bathe.  The orchestra’s chorus keeps singing,

breaks down the tragedy in six acts.  I am told

in another language and the sound has me sold

on the idea that I could become a stag, and wander

the labyrinth of the Charles River, to keep up with the

        rowers…

I would outrun the dogs that try and chase me down

if only to stare in this sunlight a moment longer, and drown.

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Dan Carey is a poet currently living in Brighton, MA.  He is the Editor-in-Chief of Paradise in Limbo Literary Arts Magazine, a print and online journal of literary and visual arts.  Currently enrolled in Lesley University's Low-Residency MFA program in Cambridge, MA, he hosts regular open mics around Brighton, and reads poems wherever there's an opportunity.

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